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Ten Funny Ways To Get In Shape To Own A Horse

Posted on May 16 2014

 

  1. Drop a heavy steel object on your foot. Don't pick it up right away. Shout "Get off, stupid! Get off!"
  2. Leap out of a moving vehicle and practice "Relaxing into the fall". Roll lithely into a ball, and spring to your feet! Dust yourself off, try to look ‘cool’.
  3. Learn to grab your chequebook out of your purse/pocket and write out a £200 cheque without even looking down.
  4. Jog long distances carrying a head collar and holding out a carrot. Go ahead and tell the neighbors what you're doing. They might as well know now.
  5. Affix a pair of reins to a moving freight train and practice pulling it to a halt. And smile as if you are really having fun.
  6. Hone your fibbing skills, 16.2hh is really 15.2hh. 15.2hh is under 14hh really.
  7. Practice dialing your chiropractors number with both arms strapped to the shoulder whilst mastering ‘painful brooming’.
  8. Boxing lessons are good, they teach you to ‘bob and weave’.
  9. Lie face down in the mud in your most expensive riding clothes and repeat to yourself: "This is a learning experience, this is a learning experience,..."
  10. Go to Tesco covered in dirt, wearing riding boots whilst having hay and straw covering your every limb, when people look at you strange, stare straight through.

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